tv The Greg Gutfeld Show FOX News January 1, 2017 7:00pm-8:01pm PST
are they small hands? >> no they are not. and that is why you are our president. ♪ [ applause ] welcome. welcome to the year in trump. or the year of trump. which is it? we took a poll and asked the year in trump or the year of trump. our results. the year of trump beat the year in trump by a tally of 4 to 2. we asked six people. well actually just seven but lou dobbs shouted "mayonnaise" and then punched me in the face. and really is the year of trump. in this trumpy year we learn some valuable stuff. one, the more you dismiss something the more you exalt it. rather than be persuasive the
media became a withering insult machine as did hillary directing bile not just at trump but those for fell for him. and the cheaper laughs at average americans expense just pushed more souls to trump. including those who saw him as the last choice among 17. every time trump ticked me off sara silver map would say something that would piss me off even more. >> usa is number one, usa is number one kind of fervor is -- it's so scary. it comes -- it is like -- it is really my favorite combination in comedy. arrogant, ignorance. but it is this kind of like closed xenophobic, like we're number one. and needing under the circumstances to -- needing us be number one. number one in what? juvenile diabetes? >> and you wonder why they lost.
you you would think after hillary's loss obnoxious stars might stop telling us how stupid we are? no. because they are [ bleep ]. true this, every. winning is more fun than church. hell, donald trump referred to the body of christ as a cracker and not just jesus was white. but the godly still embraced him. accusations of hypocrisy no locker apply. if you hated rhinos last year now you can love them because ideology is dead. and yes trump stretched the truth a little but when you are up against hillary, accusations of dishonesty don't rate. which leads me to number three, the dems should have listened to us. sorry bernie, america was not sick and tired of the e-mails.
the e-mails exposed her. and if left weren't so blinded by gender politics they would have found someone who didn't somehow work anthony weiner back into the picture. his package was always part of the package. number four. the identity grifton rift no lo worked. the boys who cried bigot final wore out its welcome. the social justice warrior is now the official pinata for ridicule. they are the workout leotards of 2016. yeah i miss those. i'm wearing one right now. but america, do not get comfortable. left wingers, they are like zombies. they always rise from the grave, only in new clothes. communists became progressives. radical subversives became
social justice ghouls. so the left will be back and whatever they become next will be worst. if there is one one we learned, that they never learn at all. let's welcome tonight's guest. he's so bright you can get a n suntan just sitting next to him. charles hertz. and sharp as a stick and like a dog he's always fetching. guy benson. she tells her old acquaintance to go pound sand. national review reporter cat tam.
and stonehenge is his paperweight. wrestler and fox news contributor. tyr tyrus. do we have? i think we might have a another little chunk of donald from the debates. i want to ask your favorite moments. >> we have some bad hombres here and we're going to get them out. >> casual use of the -- >> wrong. >> came of a reporter -- >> wrong. >> he has consistently denied -- >> wrong. such nasty woman. >> just awfully good that someone with the temperament of donald trump is not in charge of the law in our country. >> because you would be in jail. >> charles. a lot to choose from over this year. what was your favorite part of the debates or part of the primaries in general? was there a moment that sticks out? well i mean really there wasn't
a bad debate in either the primary or the general election. they were all fantastic and they were fantastic because of him. he rewrote all of the rules. probably if i had to pick the most -- probably the most important one was the second general election debate where he -- media had thrown everything at him for two weeks and he had to go out there after being called, you know, all things. and he had to go out there and just sort of keep on going. and he succeeded. but probably the single most important was when it was the first debate t fox debate where he walked out. and he was -- he was cruisin' for a bruisen and he went out there and started a fight and got in a fight and within minutes he was mocking rand paul for being 2% in the polls and on the stage with him and in that moment it was clear the rules were rewritten. >> and in that debate he didn't raise his hand. he was like why would i raise my
hand. >> and before he didn't raise any he looked up and down the aisle and said well they are all doing one thick. i'm doing something different. they must be wrong. >> it was the opposite of peer pressure. what was your favorite moment? >> i think one of his stronger moments came against ted cruz in a head-to-head where he responded to the new york values attack. because cruz was trying to send a message this guy is a liberal, he can't be counted on. he's secular. and what he was trying to say was something pretty political and typical and rather than saying that's not true i'm a conservative, he said how dare you attack my state and -- [ applause ] and cruz was utterly unprepared for that comeback. and my favorite momentum. hillary clinton has a pretty devastating line of attack. and ironic now because saying this man may not accept the election result. and went down this whole litany of instances where he has
claimed something was rigged against him. where it didn't go his way. even his celebrity apprentice show didn't win the emmys and he said those are rigged. and off camera he goes "we should have gotten it." and it was such a serious attack from her. but when he jumped in and still insisted they should have won the emmy. she almost started to laugh. >> like what can you do. he's a character. cat what did you find? what was memorable to you? >> i think my favorite thing is any time he ever said anything like he was going like this. it is the best face ever. i've started making that face. >> like he's thinking with his lur job. >> resting bulldog face. the can'ts were interesting to watch. my life is not as exciting now that i don't get to sit there with my coffee mug of wine and watch and tweet away. with the first debate we got rosie a donnell and her appearance and everybody saying that's incredibly problematic to have done but boy was it fun to
watch. >> yes. i'm more troubled by the mug of wine. i get your philosophy. >> as the -- >> i think what you are saying because you don't go outside and drink socially you could have wine in anything. >> why would i have wine glasses. all regular cups hold the same fluid. >> yes. that is true. and very sad. very sad. >> if i wasn't so scared of her i'd give her a hug. my favorite moment was -- and he had a lot of moments but a guy who likes to get the last word in i feel like donald has the same disease i do. and hillary hit him with some stuff. and as far as political points go he probably won. but he always had a good comeback even if it was literally the worst thing you could say in a moment. if you ever argue with a woman she's going to hit you with a lot of stuff and you got to come back. and he came back with "you nasty
woman." from a guy who's dropped like -- is that the make up you are going go with? you know, stuff like that. i didn't say you look fat in your pants. you come one stuff on argument because you can't beat them in substance. >> not only did he say certain things. he always would get bored. he would get fidgety. hi would do his weiss ass comments. like a ten-year-old at his sister's piano recital. even after a debate he goes that was way too long. people at home don't need to watch all that. remember that is this first or second one. >> they didn't need the undercard debates by the way. like the separate lunchroom for the kids with the peanut allerrys. >> the debates were like the movie "office space." the guy could come out and ask
for the forms. and trump was like oh man. and he didn't do his homework. all the eight points you don't want do. he wanted to get to the substance and get out. >> and listen to him mock a 14 point plan. listen to -- who has a 14 point plan? and as a master marketer, his ability to know what the customer wants. and he figured that out so well. and not only did he reveal that he knew it so well, he revealed how like the media totally doesn't get the customer anymore. >> yeah. exactly. last word, guy. >> you played it in the montage where he made the quip about she'd be in jail and people lost their minds. he's an authoritarian he's going to unilaterally put people in prison. and i think most people realized a i bithat point you don't take everything he says literally. the media hadn't learned that lesson. and according to polling a
majority of the american people disagreed with comey's decision against hillary clinton. so it is not like he was way out of bounds. >> all right. we got go. i keep thinking about that movie, it was a left-wing fantastic called "bullworth" with warn beattie. they made this up. but it actually happened. it was bull worth for the right. i think. it was a very unusual phenomena. coming up a story so cool you are going to need your run your fingers under warm water so they don't have to be removed. that's disgusting. thank you. which donald trump slogan was the best? hint, they are all equally awesome. but first this, she's like a highway in alaska. nothing but cold shoulders. mcdonald's only sells her unhappy meals and she's our goddess of kbloom. our presence of pessimism. our maiden of misery. if good news were a parade she'd hate on it. she's like a runners cramp.
repeat it over and over and over again. and also write it across your forehead. >> we are going to make america great again. >> we're going to make america great again. >> step two. keep all campaign promises to approximately three words or less to help confusion. >> drain the swamp. >> drain the swamp. >> we're not winning anymore. >> we're going to start winning so much. >> we're going to win, win, win again. >> we're going to build the wall, believe me. >> we're going to build the wall. >> we're going to have the wall. we're going to have the wall. we're going make the wall now ten feet taller. >> repetition and simplicity. and step three. reinforce trust by constantly
repeating these two words. >> believe me. >> believe me. >> believe me. >> he's like kiss without the make up. scientology without the freaky believes. free maceance but with way better hats. free masons. what was your favorite slogan? what do you think really worked for him? >> the fact that if you went out on the street and asked the average american what was donald trump's campaign slogan i think most people would know. make america great again. he saidet over and over again. the hats were so simple and unsophisticated. well they worked. i tried to remember. i follow this stuff for a living. what was mitt romney's slogan. anyone remember? it was believe in america. john kerry's in 2004, let america be america again. donald trump is like that is lame. cut some words out. make america great again. build a wall.
say it over and over people have a sense what he might want to do. what does trump want do as president? the wall. people know it because he understands marketing and sticking to a message and with all the squirrels and insane distractions of 2016 it would come back to a few key phrases that people internalize. >> yeah. charles do you think it matters if he doesn't follow through with some of this stuff? some of -- i don't know who said it earlier. not many people believe everything he says. he's not going lock her up and when he said he wasn't everybody said yeah we knew that. >> i think a lot of people that was one big failures of the meeting was that everybody took him absolutely literally throughout all of it and they didn't understand okay. build a wall or secure the border. secure the border would be a great steo. washington has been talking about it for 25 years and failed to do it. i think the best slogans were the ones he hung on his enemies. like poke honts for elizabeth
warren. and the other thing is mitt romney just round big rich in america. and donald trump made it great again. great to be rich again. and fly around in his plane. and the favorite scene in the whole plane is when ted cruz came out to cleveland for the red zone and trying to give some speech by the lake and here comes donald trump's plane and he circles a couple of times completely drowning out the guy's speech. it was perfect. >> you know, in the movie cruz is going to be the bad guy. in the actor who plays cruz will probably be nominated for an oscar because it is such a brutal. he's going to be the most unlikable person. >> the scene was already filmed. that was rodney danger field in cad dee shack. and the he's trying to christen the ship and here comes rodney
dangerfield in his big boat. >> do you think these are successful? do i? >> arnold schwarzenegger. his lines. they stick around and people with use it in a sentence. it is tangible. hillary clinton was the catch frad phrases were like the late night animal planet commercials for the dogs. even though your heart. you're like oh the dogs. after a while you are just like --. because it is so long. and i get it. i come from a wrestling battleground. we're all about the one phrase. for me it was somebody call your mama. and i'd be like oh okay. bro. call my mama. and. >> catch phrase. >> you get it. yeah. creepy is cool. >> i don't even -- well you know
what, cool is creepy. there you go. >> works for me. cat what do you make of this? simplicity? brilliant? >> yeah also build a wall everyone understands what that means. it is hard do but people understand why he couldn't build the wall and -- people say well, everyone's already done listening because it gets boring. people are pro winning. people are pro america. again, his facial expressions just crush it every time for me, really. i really, really just love that. made it very simple, very fast, very positive message. really couldn't go wrong with that. >> he'd also physically hug american flags. he would come on stake and look at this flag. >> and hug -- >> >>[chatter]. >> all right. >> plus it gets stuck in your head whether you like it or not. like i know that my pillow gives me the best night's sleep in the
whole wide world. do i know that? if it's true but still have it in my head. >> keep buying a lot of gold and silver. makes no sense. i don't even know why i'm doing it. i don't understand because they keep saying now has never been a better time. and i'm thinking but this ad's been going on for a while. if i bought it a couple years ago that was a bad move. no it's a great move. what am i talking about. gold and silver, it's never been a better time to buy. as well as reverse mortgages and solid gold catheters. we'll be back -- all right, coming up a story so crazy you think it was made out of straws. president trump and his tweets they go together like a pair of socks. why do some people want to separate them? but first this? he's so big his body is divided into the commercial and residential units. took five storks to deliver him.
homicides for the year, of 57% from 2015. that's an average of two per day. 35 russian diplomats average of two per day. thirty-five russian diplomats are out of the country now, there order to lead by president obama because of the alleged a cyber attack on the dnc. the obama administration also bringing sanctions against to russian intelligence agencies. that is a look look at news this hour. back now to the great got felte special. a postelection poll showed sixty percent of americans went president elect trump to close his twitter account. to which trump replied. [ baby spittling ] >> oh that's disgusting.
why should he stop tweeting? how do you think he got elected? by hiding from the media? never talking to anyone? never answering questions? letting someone else tweet for you? no that is how you lose an election. twitter gave trump a 24/7 mega phone. literally 24/7. remember the debates when clinton brought up former miss universe alicia machado. everyone thought he was nuts. bad move. what are you doing. then a few hours later this. for those knocking me for tweeting at 3:00 a.m. at least you know i will be there awake. to answer the call. [ applause ] he threw himself his on lifeline. face it. the media doesn't want trump tweeting because it eliminates them. who needs chuck todd when you have an iphone and a handle. you have to wonder what the election would have been like if donald trump didn't tweet.
adorable, but really, really boring i think is what it is. cat you are on twitter. i firmly believe that tweeting doesn't make anyone look better. it makes them look worse it takes vacuadvantage of your impulsiveness and emotion. like when you are a great time you never tweet, right. >> i know. that's -- i tweet all the time. and that is true. there have been so many nights where i've done some tweeting, you know, before going bed. passing out. and you wake up in the morning and you are like what have i done? >> yes. >> before you go to bed everyone that's tweeting at you. like what? oh you hate these people. the losers. you wake up. maybe they were white. maybe that is not something i should have shared with a hundred thousand people. >> nice humble brag.
>> it's actually 113. trump -- you know, i always feel embarrassed when i put my own personal drama on the internet. i think trump should be a little more careful to not put our country's drama on the internet so they know when our country is going through something. i the same level of embarrass that i have he should have and maybe a little more. >> is there something here -- if something is happening that's big he'll tweet as the distraction. a shiny bobble over here. >> it is genius in a sense that he's tooking -- tookin' -- taken. >> i'll take taken. >> he's manage his on destiny. you are not waiting for the media to spin it. so if i want to know something from donald i'll go to him.
and's going answer it. and cracks me up some of the things he said. the fact he takes it on. i would do it on. but usually with a --. let me tell her what i think. but the fact that he's doing that. people get that. we relate to that. one of the things that about george bush is guys feel like they could have a beer with him. and donald trump you feel like you can talk to him. and if donald trump i have an issue with and cool i'll tweet you'll let you know, i'll hit you back. but that's america. we like that. >> check sex tape in past. you can answer any question that? >> and is this a good strategy? one of my friends tells me that trump misspells tweets on purpose, to create more combustion. i don't believe that. >> yeah i don't know about that one. have we confirmed. does trump inherit
the @p.o.t.u.s. twitter handle? his first tweet should be @barack obama, sad, exclamation point. >> he trolls linguists all the time. like when he talks about big league. and i wait forward -- waited for months for some reporter to come out and say it is a word. bigly. and he always used it correctly. and it would have been so great if some smarty pants would have corrected him on it and he would have just dropped the dictionary on them. oh yeah. check this out. >> problem with doing a segment like this which is just say pretaped by a few hours --
♪(banjo) ♪ooooh ♪i hope the days come easy and the moments pass slow♪ ♪and each road leads you where you want to go♪ ♪and if you're faced with a choice and you have to choose♪ ♪i hope you choose the one that means the most to you♪ ♪and if one door opens to another door closed♪ ♪i hope you keep on walkin till you find the window♪ ♪if it's cold outside, show the world the warmth of your smile♪ ♪but more than anything ♪more than anything ♪my wish for you ♪is that this life becomes all that you want it to♪
♪your dreams stay big, your worries stay small♪ ♪you never need to carry more than you can hold♪ ♪and while you're out there gettin where you're gettin to♪ ♪i hope you know somebody loves you♪ ♪and wants the same things too♪ ♪yeah, this is my wish ♪may all your dreams stay big they sang they preached they stomped they tried. but in the end they were
trumped. the celebrities try their best to. >> ♪ >> all right all right all right. interesting thing. you know vomit actually throws up in its own mouth. vomit actually has a mouth. and of course my good friend amy. >> i hope the people don't blame you if an orange --. that would be a bummer right? >> yeah well we won. >> and whoever these people are. >> ♪
>> that makes everything feel so good right now. really does. all of them are an example of what i call opposite influencers. a lot of people on the fence probably voted for trump just despite these twits. trump should thank them just to make them more mad. all right. charles, do you think any of these people will have a moment of self reflection and go -- >> no. no. impossible and promise to leave the country. what did they think they were going to do when they promised to leave the country. probably my favorite accidental helper. was remember when senator lindsey graham called trump a jack ass and then trump decided to pull out of his desk his personal private phone number he
had left him to help him get on to fox news actually and he read it to the world. and what i loved more than anything after that. when he was done with it, what does lindsay graham do? he changed his phone number. do you know what donald trump would have done if his phone was blowing. he would have been figured way to to make like a thousand bucks out of that. >> and lindsay graham like destroyed his physical phone. he didn't know that you could just change the o number and keep the phone. >> hit the silent button. oh no call. >> i have done that many times. i've destroyed phones just because of something that was in there, trying to get it out. >> that is a different issue. >> yeah. entirely and i still don't know if i got it out. you will find out later. guy, i don't even know what i was going to ask you. but, did they help hillary lose even more? >> i think you just mentioned his number one accidental helper, which was hillary
clinton. she was so awful. so this gave him an opportunity to win which he did. and i also saw. this one actually made me laugh outloud. it was i believe the night or two nights before the election and madonna announced she was going to be doing an impromplt acoustic concert in downtown manhattan where she performed "like a prayer" in front of like 14 people or something. and mystifies me that didn't turn the tide in wisconsin. >> madonna said she would give oral sex to any man who voted for hillary. and after that her numbers went down. >> going back to the original question about celebrities. >> i'm not touching that.
>> you shouldn't. if donald is listening, i would love to be on the urban relocation program, where hence after he's sworn in, me and a few of the homeys in a truck come to take you do canada. so cher. cher can get her wigs and do her dancers have to go with her? i say yes. and we'll just load them up and there you go canada. >> there you go. canada will be thrilled, packed. >> will these celebrity videos continue? will they finally wise up and see these things are bad news? go no, they won't. they are still doing it now with the electoral college thing. they are going keep going because they think people don't care. but a they don't care. people don't care because we don't relate to them. lena dunham tries to brand herself like i'm kind of chubb so i'm just like thank you
thing. doesn't matter because not everybody even if their chubby has their parents give them money to live in new york and pay for a stupid movie. and i think she does that show to force her naikd 3w0d on a many people as possible. when i think who aem i going to listen to make decisions i don't think naked lady who's eating cake on the toilet in television. >> i think i saw that video. >> of course. because you can't escape it. >> they have become elitists. it is their way or no way. and they don't relate to anyone. because no one wants to hear a celebrity tell them how rough they have got it. >> the other thing too is the real revelation is the outrage that they have for trump reaches a zenith they never possess for terror. like they never get this angry over anything. people that actually blow up buildings. >> because he beat them to it. >> yeah. coming up a story so hot you
>> . . somehow throughout the entire campaign donald trump can get away with saying anything. some call them lies. i prefer to think of them as truth additives. but no matter how many he manages to say he has an amazing ability to mend faces afterwards. when he said this, my favorite trumpy truth about lyin' ted's
father. >> he was with lee harvey oswald right prior to the thing being shot and nobody even brings its u. they don't even talk about that. that was reported and nobody talks about it. >> zo bad. it is so bad. he said his father may his fathn involved in the shooting of jfk. and he was still elected president. and then met with senator ted cruz for a lovely conversation. which is pretty gutsy for donald trump, given that ted cruz comes from a family of assassins. how does he manage -- okay, that's a pretty big lie. how'd he get away with that lie? >> i don't know, but it is a truly abusive relationship. and think about this, ted cruz came into this election, he played the game better, he thought through every angle. he was going to be nice to trump until everybody was gone, and then he was going to run in and
deliver the kill. and he winds up -- what wound up happening is, he played everything so badly, he got beaten so badly, he is the one republican of all 17 who can never run again. >> no, no. >> he got destroyed. >> he got exposed for who he was. which is a climber who actually decided to become best friends with the bully, until the bully turned on him. and then he's the least liked. >> and who exposed him? >> trump. >> yes, totally! he's an exposer. >> but then he came back to the bully team. he was buddy-buddy with trump when it served his interests. then the relationship fell apart, crazy theories about fathers assassinating presidents. >> he was in dallas that day, just to be clear. >> okay -- >> can you just imagine what ted cruz's christmas dinner is going to be like? the sound of silverware on the plate, while his wife is just glaring at him. you had to be his friend. we're going to be in the cabinet. we're secretary of state. we're doing this and that.
and your green eggs and ham sucks. i'm sure his house is brutal. >> he got booed off the stage at the inaugural -- >> i just hate his face. >> did you see the face during that interview? he just kind of feels how we all feel. look at -- look at his face! >> he just doesn't know what to do. >> he's sitting there -- >> he can't say -- >> -- listening to donald trump accuse cruz's father of being an assassin and his face looks the only way that it can happen when that's happening on your "fox & friends" couch. >> i can live with a lie here and there, but i don't want like conspiracies. because conspiracies always are replacement for thought, right? and that -- wait, you would disagree with me. you like them. >> he likes conspiracies. >> no, it's not donald trump's fault that -- >> that he was there and ill canned jfk? >> that americans don't believe in their government, don't believe in institutions. it's not his fault. it's all the professional politicians who have been
abusing voters for decades before him. and you can't be surprised if somebody -- >> that's no excuse to perpetuate it. >> what about -- okay, so your uncle sends you an e-mail from a nigerian prince and you found out he's given your will -- the money that was in your will is gone. that's what i'm talking about. >> all i have to do is provide my social security number and bank routing number. >> but trump wasn't mending any fences. maybe that's important to point out. he just got the power to further destroy the fences by becoming the president, so people had to be nice to him. >> this is america, you've got to know not to believe -- >> the difference is that he knew they had to come back. and from a guy who's maybe bullied once or twice in his days, there's nothing better than knowing they have to come back, you know? they might have said one day, the teacher was outside at recess, you're not going to bully me anymore. the teacher calls in sick the next day, i'm waiting. and that's kind of what happened with trump and these guys.
they all ran their mouths and then they had to come back to trump tower and ask for a job. i would have, you know, would have loved to see mitt going, hey, hey, hey. oh, man! >> he didn't apologize, though, apparently. >> no, he didn't apologize. and it's hard to apologize when you have a [ bleep ] because you're kissing it the entire time. >> all good people, though. all good people with the exception of maybe one. of all these people that had -- like, everybody -- i think everybody had sincere issues, right? >> who's all good people? i'm just saying -- >> no, the politicians aren't! they have screwed things up! >> i'm talking about -- i'm talking like, mitt's a good guy. i happen to think that mitt's a good guy -- >> but he's terrible at his job and politics is his job. >> he did the olympics good, sir. >> then go back to doing the olympics. get out of politics. >> he has great hair. you like his hair? >> he has fantastic hair.
all right. this is exciting. join me in and dana perino for an event called "short stories by short people." it's saturday, january 28th, at warner theater in washington, d.c. there will also be music by our host, larry gatlin. yes! you can get your tickets by going to ticketmaster.com. so we're almost out of time here, so -- >> what you've wanted to say all show, but haven't had the chance to say it, so here's your chance to say it right now. >> charles? >> i'd say that the best thing about this election is, i think it's the -- or i hope it's the last time we do the racial
identity politics. >> yeah. >> and donald trump, if that goes away in america, that's a great accomplishment. >> it won't, but i hope it will. guy? >> let's face it, it's a show called the year of trump, so there's a very good chance that mr. trump is watching right now. he loves watching fox, which is great. and it's not a secret that i'm a bit tough on trump and have been for a while. but, if you're watching, one of your first acts of president is going to be or as president is going to be picking a supreme court justice. if you pick a young constitutionalist, i will wear a red baseball cap for a day. how about that? >> tyrus? >> i'll be reading from "the book of light." there is no such thing as an accident. there is only your true self. trying to get your attention, ask your heart what the message is. >> wow. >> fantastic. >> i'm underwater, because that was so deep. thank you, dana. the deep that gifts giving. >> a book from dana perino. all right. last word, kat?